Is sacrifice a dirty word?
- fostertonretreat
- May 20
- 4 min read
Updated: May 28
I've been thinking a lot lately about sacrifice, as we moved through ANZAC Day[1], Ramadan[2], Lent, Easter [3], Passover[4]. As well as being reminded it is 75 years since The Narnia Chronicles were written, with a definite theme of sacrifice. (You can explore "Big questions in books — Sacredness, enchantment and the apocalypse, from Narnia to Harry Potter" with Meredith Lake on ABC's Soul Search)
So what do I mean when I use the word sacrifice?
It has a couple of meanings…. "to kill an animal or person and offer them up to a god or gods[5]"
This is relevant to some of the religious festivals mentioned above, but it isn't the one I want to write about today.
Instead I've been thinking about sacrifice being "to give up something that is valuable to you in order to help another person[6]".
As some of you know, at the end of last year one of our son-in-laws tragically and suddenly passed away at home. Max and I have chosen to support our recently widowed daughter and her 4 children, with me living part of the week with them and Max carrying the business, mostly on his own (definitely the property and accommodation side of it anyway). This decision has been made willingly but it involves sacrifice: emotional, physical and financial. When I find it tough I remember I am there willingly and work at finding ways to refuel emotionally and physically.
So, is sacrifice a dirty word in our society?
There are stories of younger people struggling with the idea of sacrifice[7], and I grew up in a time where it was often intertwined with 'duty', rather than a choice. But sacrifice is a gift. It's important that what is given up is a choice.
Scott Peck (psychiatrist and author of The Road Less Travelled) defined love as “Love is the will to extend one's self for the purpose of nurturing one's own or another's spiritual growth...[8]"
"To extend one's self …" what a beautiful phrase. Definitely related to sacrifice. Seen through this lens, sacrifice is an act of love (or in Australian Digger language 'mate-ship'). Thousands of people turn up for each year to ANZAC Day remembrance services where sacrifices made by others are commemorated. During the World Wars young men gave up their livelihoods, and lives; families lost fathers and brothers, and so on.
Our sacrifice is so small in comparison and we want it to be an act of love. It is important, but like any sacrifice that doesn't mean it is easy.
Over the years Max and I have been greatly influenced by Viktor Frankl's theory that we humans need meaning beyond our own self/survival. His ideas were in draft form before he was put in a concentration camp and saw it in action. Those who had a reason to live beyond themselves did better, even in such harsh circumstances.
(If you haven't run across Frankl's work or need an update here's a great video summary )
We have had a dream about running something like Fosterton Retreat for decades and now we've been here nearly 10 years. We want it to be a place of healing and growth for people. A place they can be nurtured by nature, dig deeper and learn more about themselves and others, where connection with and development of our creative and spiritual life can happen. This was beyond ourselves, but so is serving our family.
At a time when our 2 sons with Cystic Fibrosis are in good health due to miraculous breakthroughs in this last 10 years, 2025 was to be a year focused on expanding Fosterton Retreat, instead we have scaled back, by choice.
We still offer accommodation, the series 'Space for God, The Divine….', with the next one on August 23rd.
As well as two specialist retreats:
A Stained Glass Art Retreat June 20th -22nd and
a Leadership Retreat with Merridie and Tim Costello, August 8-10th
There is more detailed information on 'Coming Up Next', click on the links above. We are excited about boththese opportunities and are taking bookings for these retreats now.
With these retreats, along with connecting with people who share our dream, we hope these keep us going until the 12 months anniversary of his death has passed. Then we will re-evaluate the support this beautiful family needs.
Things worth doing often require us " to extend one's self". May we do so with grace, patience and willingness, plus wisdom on self care (my own Spiritual Direction is vital).
We appreciate the community of people we already serve, but there's room for more. If you know anyone else who might be interested in joining one of our retreats or visit our accommodation, please pass our information on.
Bronwyn
May 2025
[1] 25 April - this is the national day to commemorate Australia and New Zealand armed forces in WWI, any of our armed forces, as well as victims of war.
[3] Lent (which started in 4th Century AD) precedes Easter in the Christian calendar as a time of sacrifice in preparation for the celebrating the great sacrifice made by Jesus.
[4] The Passover is an important celebration in Judaism and begins by remembering the sacrifices made by the Israelites the night before leaving Egypt.
[5] Cambridge dictionary online,
[6] As above.
Comments