I saw something similar to this question recently and it sure resonated!There are always funny, strange and crazy memes around the start of a new year and it's true not every year starts smoothly.
Many people are facing big changes, some difficult, others joyous and some both. Whether it’s a bereavement, babies, fires, sickness, careers ending or beginning, new relationships starting, other ones closing...... there are many curve balls that life throws our way.
We are very aware of those curve balls as our family navigates the aftermath of the death of our son-in-law at the end of 2024 (mentioned in our last email).
We can make plans, but there are things outside our control. But there are still plenty of things within our control. Even if you've done it before it can be helpful to do the Circles of Concern exercise at any time, and certainly at the start of a new year. You can find it at Positive Psychology or one focused on young people from They are the Future UK
As we slide into 2025 our question is “What do we need to be able to do this year/life well?”
These things will fuel the section sin the 'Circles of Influence' which I can influence or control.
We know we need contemplation, space and time to go deeper, creativity, nature, re-creation, healthy relationships and expressions of prayer. And each of these have been shown through research to be beneficial, although the scientific research on prayer is still early, see our research page.
In the midst of the challenges of life: running a business, coping with grief, caring for children and or elderly people, keeping or building an art practice, it takes being intentional and pro-active to include them in life. Don't get me wrong, I don't always get the balance right and I know when my life is out of whack. One of the ways I notice is that I am more judgemental/ impatient, often internally but it can spill out. Then I am 'down on myself like a ton of bricks'.
But I also recognise that this old ways of giving myself a hard time when I'm not meeting my expectations has not been so effective. Instead I now try to practice 'Self compassion'.
I can only do it if I imagine the person 'failing' is someone else, usually someone I love and I consider how I would encourage them and try to say those things to myself. It's not just 'letting myself get away with things', nor is it about 'self-esteem' (there's a 'self-acceptance vs self esteem' discussion ) - that's a whole other blog) and it's still in line with my values of what kind of person I want to be. Don't be fooled, it's not always easy but I have found it more effective. It also reminds me to be compassionate to others because "Everyone is going through a great battle" ( John Watson https://www.quora.com/Who-originated-the-quote-Be-kind-for-everyone-you-meet-is-fighting-a-hard-battle. )
If you want to give it a try Positive Psychology have 8 tips on how to practice Self-compassion
as well as ideas for being more compassionate at work- what? Wouldn't a more compassionate world be great?
Bronwyn Greive
Comments