We all have thousands of pictures that we hold in our head-mind and it is these things we expect will help us be happy- live the Good life. Glasser described this as our Quality World and it is like a huge photo album. You can replace photos and a lot of my pictures have changed/ been removed/swapped over the years and continues to this day.
In 1979, I was a naive hurting city kid that ended up in the country town of Bourke and surrounds. Here I had my life turned upside down; as I experienced a sense of belonging in a caring farming community, and the introduction to the thought that a Creator God loved and accepted me as I am. This not only turned my life around, but also somehow landing on my feet. WOW.
It was soon after that I met an amazing, articulate, widely read woman who liked wrestling with new ideas and was passionate about social justice. That she was virtually engaged to her boyfriend of several years was ok. She became my "ideal- pedestal one" replacing the last picture. From then on, I started comparing others to the ideal. This comparing is like putting two things on the scales, what I want and what I have.
If the scales are close to balanced, then I generally feel good and I may settle-compromise or even fine tune my want pictures. It is somewhat easier to change what I want-rather than what I have.
If the scales tip, then I am confronted with some pain. Ouch. What to do?
The bigger the gap between my wants and haves, can lead to frustration, anger, leaving me not at my best. The saying that "Hurting people- hurt people" highlights that. When needs/wants are not met, we have inner pain and sometimes we hurt ourselves or those near us.
Some behaviours in this zone can, and do become habits -(usually bad) as I try harder to get what I want.
As the Spice Girls said so well-"Tell us what you want-what you really really want". Once this is articulated, I will be well on my way to finding my treasure.
How's your search going?
Several year later......well, that is another chapter....